aftersunset

I love a good sympathize-with-the-thieves movie. You know, where you want them to get away with
it at the end… Well this movie tries really hard to be that kind of movie. It really tries.

My first objection is Selma Hayek. She’s gorgeous and I loved her in Frida. But most of the time, I
don’t find her acting believable. Plus, though Pierce Brosnan is still a hot English guy, I wanted
someone closer to his age to believe in this retired thieving couple. Woody Harrelson finishes off
the cast as the screw-up agent trying to catch the team in the act. Woody does a good job as the
comedy relief, but all the dialog is really cheesy – which comes to a head in a scene with Brosnan
and Harrelson go out on a boat and put suntan lotion on each other then catch a shark with a
fishing line. The actors make it kind of funny, but it doesn’t overcome the huge hunk of cheese the
whole situation is.

Anyway, the plot centers on the question of “is paradise enough." Brosnan wants more excitement
and Hayek wants to just sit around and enjoy what they’ve got. (Her character is a real busybody in
this film. She’s always shown cleaning or building a deck or coming back from some kind of lesson,
while Brosnan sits around working on his tan… if this relationship has a problem, it’s that and not
the whole passion thing.)

Don Cheadle plays the bad guy who just wants to bring gambling and prostitution to the masses…
no I’m not kidding, but his obsession with The Mama’s and the Papa’s is funny.

Also, all the way through the script, Hayek keeps asking Brosnan if he’s written his vows yet and
pesters him relentlessly about it. I don’t know about most audiences, but this made me think that
they’re getting married at some point. But at the end, he asks her to marry him and she’s surprised
and excited. Ummmm…… What??? Is this some new thing that I don’t know about? Do you write
the vows before the proposal? Maybe I’m behind the times.

Well… the conclusion is weird, too. Brosnan loses the diamond he steals and then tries to say that
he doesn’t care because he gets Selma. Ummmm….. You already had Selma! You only lost her
because you were trying to steal the damn diamond! That’s like when a kid loses a game and says
he didn’t want to win anyway. Real mature.

But whatever. If you want a light, cheesy diamond caper movie to entertain you while you cook
dinner or do the laundry, this is a good one. If you want something to keep you on the edge of
your seat, move along -- there are better ones out there.