badgirls

Sometimes you have an ensemble of A-list actresses, a high budget, a seemingly decent story and
what looks to be good production value, but the pieces don’t fit together whatsoever and you find
yourself with a flop on your hands. Take “Bad Girls” as the prime example of this phenomenon.

Madeleine Stowe is the madam of a brothel in a saloon in the Old West. One day one of her girls is
attacked and she kills the man in front of witnesses. Of course, they want to hang the hooker,
Stowe, but with the intervention of girl power, Stowe gets away with her life and her girls, Drew
Barrymore, Mary Stuart Masterson and Andie MacDowell.

Of course, the law is after them. Stowe goes to see her old flame, a criminal bandit, but of course
he double-crosses her, beats her up and then he and his gang take turns having their way with
Barrymore. Meanwhile the law is on their heels, including the overused Pinkerton Detectives.

Did I mention the bandits also steal Stowe’s life savings, thereby ruining her plans to starting a new
life for her girls in Oregon? Well, they do and Stowe is mad. So of course comes the showdown.

There are some movies you just can’t buy. I don’t buy MacDowell in a 10-gallon hat with a
Winchester rifle. I don’t buy MacDowell being able to shoot that rifle. I don’t buy that MacDowell is
attractive enough to be a saloon girl. Back in the mid-1990s, I could buy that Barrymore was a
saloon girl—that I get.

No, the story just doesn’t work, at all. Director Jonathan Kaplan has all the parts, but he doesn’t
understand how to put them together. Stowe comes off like a robot. It is obvious she doesn’t
understand her role in the film. Masterson is the only one with any acting going on, but even she’s
hanging on by her fingernails. On top of all that, the movie is too overtly pro-feminine and not in a
noble way, but a cheesy, “G.I. Jane” way.

I once saw a play called “12 Angry Women” which was literally “12 Angry Men,” but with women. It
was a useless exercise. It did not contribute anything to the creative dialogue. Neither does “Bad
Girls.” The movie merely showcases women with guns and horses, teases teenagers in the
audience with very brief moments of skin peeking from Barrymore, and ends with a silly whinny.

“Calamity Jane” with Doris Day was more entertaining than this. Heck, “The Quick and the Dead” a
year later was better than this, and that was a terrible film too. All I’m saying is, waste your time on
this one if you want, but if you want to see a cool girl Western, see “Hannie Caulder.”