I know this movie has become synonymous with “worst comic book movie ever made,” but now that “Catwoman” was released its jumped up a few notches. Let me just say that I never thought this movie was that bad. I thought it worked for what it was. However, there are some definite problems. But lemme get past the boring plot synopsis and then I’ll critique.
“Barb Wire” takes place during the Second American Civil War. We’re never really told what reopened the War Between the States, but you can be sure it wasn’t the South that rose again cause the war would have already been over. Hehe. Take that you yella-bellied Yankees! And yes, I am from Georgia. But I’m just jerkin’ yer chain. I like to think that this time the Pacific Northwest went up against the Bread Basket. Either that or the whole country went to war with Texas.
But back to the movie.
Pamela Anderson, in a perfect casting choice, plays Barb Wire; a nightclub owner who moonlights as a bounty hunter in the city of Port Steel Harbor, which is a little redundant. Anyway, Dock Steel Wharf is the last free city, which really isn’t saying much because the place is like Amsterdam if it had been taken over by Nazis: Tons of sex, lots of fascist guilt. Life is pretty simple for Barb, run her nightclub, take care of her blind alcoholic brother, pose as a stripper, ride her motorcycle, pose as a hooker, shoot some big guns, pose as a porn star…wait, that was the other Pamela Anderson movie. Then things get ugly, when Barb’s soldier ex-squeeze Jango Fett, for real it’s him, shows up in town with his scientist wife who is wanted by the bad guys.
The scientist’s face has been surgically altered so she can’t be recognized, but she won’t be able to pass a retinal scan without a pair of special contact lenses. Does Barb trust her ex-lover, Jango? Does she overcome her past feelings and help the new woman in Jango’s life? Does she take the contact lenses herself and use them to get to Europe? Is this movie a complete rip off of “Casablanca?” Well, yes to the last question, which gives you the answers to the rest, unless you haven’t seen “Casablanca” in which case you need to get off my site right now and go watch it. ALL HAIL CLAUDE RAINS!!!!!!!!!!
Starring Pamela Anderson Lee Directed by David Hogan Gramercy Pictures - 1996 GRADE: C-
Phew.
Okay, the good news. This movie is a lot of fun. Pamela looks great in just about every scene and yes she does take her gear off. Bonus. If you are familiar with “Casablanca” this movie is a riot because it is so similar albeit far inferior. I think George Lucas should digitally reinsert Bogie into this film just so he can beat on Barb’s blind brother. The action scenes that Pam actually does herself are decent. Unfortunately, there aren’t many of those.
Okay, the bad news. The acting ranges from simply passable to atrocious. Pamela does a good, if fairly one-dimensional job, but some of the supporting cast, especially the principal villain, are awful. Since Pamela did not do a lot of her own stunt work we are forced to watch a burly, six-foot three dude in a blonde wig run around and jump off of buildings. Shameful and off-putting.
The film does, however, manage to capture an energetic and fun comic book feeling. David Hogan did a nice job of letting the camera love Pamela and that’s really the whole point of the film. Make her look good and make her look bad-ass. Overall, that comes across.
“Barb Wire” sits firmly in the same category as “Judge Dredd” and “The Shadow.” They were all decent comic book movies that got a little sloppy. They’re still fun to watch and represent their respective heroes better than some comic to film adaptations. Do I even have to mention “Daredevil?”
