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I’ll never forget sitting down to watch “Batman Forever” in the movie theatre. My brother and I
started in with the first few minutes and watched with uncertainty as Batman tries to save a bank
vault guard from drowning within a safe. The guard was really overplaying his lines and the entire
scene seemed way too pink in color. Jon and I exchanged a concerned glace.

There was certainly a lot to be concerned about. “Batman Forever” marked the removal of director
Tim Burton and the beginning of director Joel Schumacher in the Batchair. This does not prove to
be a good change at all. Schumacher and Batman creator Bob Kane (in what I can only assume
was senility) thought it would a great idea to take Gotham City and the entire Batman aesthetic and
turn the whole environment into Reno, Nevada.

There is more neon lighting in this movie than I could fathom. All of the performances outside of
Batman, Robin and the female lead are musically theatrical. On top of that, someone got the
asinine idea that there needed to be nipples on Batman and Robin’s outfits. This movie is a
homoerotic Batman fantasy and I weep knowing that creator Kane approved all of this.

Val Kilmer (at the height of his popularity) steps into the role of Batman, replacing Michael Keaton.
Kilmer is an accomplished and talented actor, but he’s far too subtle. His Bruce Wayne is plain
boring and wooden. As Batman, he’s supposed to be stone faced, so whatever. Chris O’Donnell
(at the height of his popularity) works adequately as Robin, and he tries very hard to temper out
the Burt Ward overacting Robin shtick we’ve come to know. The absolute highlight of the movie is
Nicole Kidman (not yet at the height of her now massive popularity) as psychologist Dr. Chase
Meridian. Her role is thankless, but Kidman has never looked better on screen. Hands down, she
is drop dead gorgeous.

Jim Carrey (at the height of his popularity) and Tommy Lee Jones (at the height of his popularity)
play the villains, The Riddler and Two-Face respectively. They team up to try and take over the
world from Batman like all the other villains do. The Riddler has some scheme to steal everyone’s
brainwaves through television. It’s an inane plot. I also wonder how The Riddler manages to snag
himself his own private island to “secretly” construct his massive, neon-lit “secret weapon” that due
to its enormous size and light can probably be seen from space.

Carrey and Jones give embarrassingly overblown performances. Also keep your eyes open for a
cameo by Drew Barrymore as one of Two-Face’s slutty tarts.

Everything about this movie is just…too much. The sets are gaudy and gave me headaches
looking at them, the performances are cheesy and the action doesn’t make geographic or kinetic
sense. The Batmobile drives up a building in this film, people. And somehow Batman is able to
catch two falling people at once in a camerawork nightmare of a sequence.

If this film didn’t have Nicole Kidman, I’d fail it. She doesn’t save it though. She only makes it
bearable in places.