blade3

It’s always sad to me to watch a writer struggle to create a trilogy feel after the first two have
already been made. It’s one of those basic rules of writing: If you want to write a story that lasts
through three movies, you have to be thinking about the third when you write the first. The first
“Blade” was a good action flick; dark, bloody, lots of things blew up… everything you could want in
a vampire movie.

The second “Blade” also took that into consideration by taking what we knew about the world and
changing our perspective by showing a softer side of the vampires. Too bad we had to lose the
doctor love interest from the first film to have the vampire princess love interest in the second… but
if James Bond can get away with it, why not a day-walking vampire slayer?

Okay, so at least the third film didn’t introduce yet another love interest for Blade. It did, however,
kill off Whistler AGAIN and introduce Jessica Biel as Whistler’s daughter and Ryan Reynolds as
Hannibal King a former vampire turned Nightstalker. These two add a much needed energy boost
and make the plot really start moving.

The color scheme is very specific and functional. There is a yellowish tint to the world that makes it
look sickly and jaundice. The blood is redder than red. The vampires live in elaborate mansions
splayed in blues and purples, almost like royalty, while Blade and all the Nightstalkers dress only in
black.

I liked that Drake, or Dracula… whatever… followed his own ethics, skewed and twisted as they
were. He didn’t kill indiscriminately. He’s almost a tragic hero turned evil, like what would happen to
Oedipus if he lived a few thousand years.

The only weak point is the silly humor they added in. For example, at one point, Hannibal asks the
computer geek if he’d ever been laid. This is a cheap joke and their smarter comedy is much
funnier. Also, I thought that the Ipod thing with Jessica Biel was lame. L...A…M...E… lame (yes,
Jon, I spelled it out… it was that bad.) I’m thinking that Apple must have donated a serious amount
of money in order to make their key product an actual plot point.

I’m a big fan of Ryan Reynolds and am happy that he at least got one fantastic scene out of the
whole thing after saying all the stupidest one-liners ever written. The scene between Reynolds and
Parker Posey is wonderful, a scene study in itself. Plus… he has his shirt off the whole time. In my
opinion, Ryan Reynolds should always have his shirt off.

On that topic… Maybe one of my fellow male reviewers can explain the whole Jessica Biel thing to me. Yes, her body is kickin. I’ve never seen a flatter stomach
on anyone. And she’s strong. And she’s a pretty good actress. (Her scene after her blind friend dies is really heart breaking.) But she has the sex appeal of a
grapefruit. Even when she’s naked in the shower… I don’t know. I don’t get any kind of sexual vibe from her at all. I don’t know. Maybe it’s a girl-next-door-who-
can-kick-my-ass kind of sexiness. But I digress…

I’ve heard that Wesley Snipes was pissed off at how the movie was received. OF COURSE HE WAS!!! In this script, his character shows no emotion, not even
anger really. He doesn’t change or grow in any way. He shows no appealing qualities whatsoever. Therefore, as audience members, we are forced to look
elsewhere to find someone to sympathize with. In steps Biel and Reynolds, who are young, energetic, witty, and HUMAN. Plus, even though Snipes’ body is
ripped, Biel and Reynolds are more so which lessen his stature. It had to be a pride-swallowing hell to Snipes to watch his established prize pony fall to his “side-
kicks”.

The moral of this story… Don’t try to make a trilogy one movie at a time. It never works the way you want it to.

NOTE FROM MIKE: Liza, I don't understand the whole Jessica Biel thing either.