jinglealltheway

If you want to talk about BAD movies, let’s not mess around. “Jingle All the Way” has to be one of
the worst movies of the 1990s if not one of the worst films of the century, barring Schwarzenegger’s
other debacle, “Last Action Hero.”

Ahnuld is a corporate dad who’s never around to see his kid. He misses every practice, every game
and every event. His son, Jake Lloyd, better known as Anakin Skywalker from the repugnant “The
Phantom Menace,” is a comic book tot who is desperate to get the hottest toy of the year, the Turbo
Man action figure. Ahnuld vows to redeem himself in the eyes of his son and his family by getting
this toy. There’s only two problems. The toy is nigh impossible to be found and a crazed postal
worker in the same dilemma, played by Sinbad, also needs the toy.

What follows is the cheesiest movie in recent memory. Ahnuld and Sinbad are so over the top they
practically mug the camera. Zany chases ensue through shopping malls and parking lots. It’s an
ugly scene for both their careers. This movie could have been great, but made one fatal error. It
targeted and played to the wrong audience. Oh, and all of the performances stink, especially Lloyd.
If you thought he was bad in "The Phantom Menace," you haven't seen anything yet.

I was working at a Toys ‘R Us in high school the Christmas this movie was in theatres. The hot toy
the year before had been the Power Rangers and Buzz Lightyear or something like that. That year it
was Tickle Me Elmo. “Jingle All the Way” was attempting to satire the Christmas craze for that one
hot item. Therefore, it should have been aimed at adults, because it’s the parents who understand
and would find the humor in what people will go through for their children at Christmas time.

The film, if rewritten, could have been a hilarious adult comedy and some serious social satire as
well. Nope, they dumbed it down for kids, who don’t see the humor in this situation anyway. They
don’t go shopping for their own gifts at Christmas time. Ugh.

The viewer is treated to the film culminating in an all-too-convenient Turbo Man parade that
afternoon with Ahnuld ending up doubling as Turbo Man for the main float and Sinbad getting into
the evil nemesis costume to “battle” with him for the Turbo Man toy. Oh, this movie found the bottom
of the barrel and smashed right through it to the sewer. Ahnuld and Sinbad have an aerial fight
because, conveniently, their plastic costume jetpacks actually work and of course, Ahnuld’s kid is
looking on.

This is less about Christmas and tries to be more about retail hell, but comes off just being inane.
Avoid unless you want a slightly less-happy holiday.